How to become a better communicator and negotiator

Ever since 1936, when Dale Carnegie published his classic self-help book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," those who aspired to climb the ladder of success have made it one of the best-selling books of all time. Carnegie taught over 30 million people that in order to be an influencer, one needed to master communication skills.

Some of the essential characteristics of being a good communicator are to be concise, specific, pleasant, approachable, and most of all, to be a good listener.

Three principles are vital to being a pleasant, positive, and approachable human being. These principles are:

• Mindfulness
• Energy equation
• Peaceful Co-existence

One of the core principles of mindfulness is what I call "Intermittent silence," which is an important way to achieve self-mastery of body and mind.

Four tips for mastering the arts of communication and negotiation

Once you have mastered the art of silence, it can work for you in many profound ways, such as learning to observe and to practice active listening.

1. Active listening is the basis of all good communication. If you aren't paying attention to what others are saying, there's no way you'll be able to respond effectively. Intermittent silence is a practice that teaches us to quiet our minds and focus our energy.
2. Being fully present and observing others is another skill that, with practice, can be developed. The best way to practice observing others is to practice observing yourself, which will help adapt your conversations with others.
3. Being relaxed and fully present is another important communication tool. Though it's essential to be self-aware during a conversation or negotiation, ultimately, one of the most effective communication strategies is just relaxing and being authentic.
4. Developing your communication center through meditation and focusing on the fifth chakra, which is in the throat area. It governs the anatomical regions of the thyroid, parathyroid, jaw, neck, mouth, tongue, and larynx.

When feelings of anger or sadness crop up in our daily lives, it's easy to fall into the trap of an immediate or knee-jerk response. These quick, emotion-based responses can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications. One of the most valuable skills that you can learn from intermittent silence is watching your emotional storm to determine its origin.

Through regular practice of intermittent silence, we begin to dismiss those false emotions, like anger or sadness and recognize that they are not genuine. This practice allows us to respond in ways that create peaceful co-existence and loving relationships.

How to practice intermittent silence

In this practice, the idea is to give your brain a rest for ten minutes a day. Because your brain is working all the time, we are used to overthinking, overeating, and overspending.

The simple steps consist of closing your mouth and eyes and engaging in silent listening. It may be more challenging than it appears, but it is incredible once you get the hang of it and commit to the regular practice of intermittent silence. Even when stress or chaos appears, you will feel that silence inside of you, as it helps you weather the inevitable emotional storms. Slowly the peace you feel in those ten minutes a day will start to work its way into your everyday life.

One way to experience intermittent silence is through an app I've created called Relaxx, which provides excellent guidance and support for this journey. Relaxx encourages people to practice simultaneously and at the same place as often as possible. This consistent practice will take the user to the point that they will notice a difference in their meditation quality. With daily practice, the ultimate goal will be to carry that peace into chaos, bringing a noticeable change to real-life situations and should reflect at work and home, with an all-around better performance and improved relationships.

Taking these first steps to creating a new habit of peace and happiness may seem intimidating but achievable with practice. While brushing your teeth, making your bed, or doing dishes, creating moments of mindfulness will have long-lasting benefits.

Dedicating even five minutes a day to this new normal will help create new habits that will make greater peace and happiness within and in your relationships with others. In practicing these steps, you will learn to listen, communicate and find joy in your journey to living a higher energy life filled with happiness and positivity.

This article was originally published by sister publication Medical Economics.