MOC in Haiku

Clearly, we touched a nerve when we invited you to put pen to paper to channel your feelings about the Maintenance of Certification program-in haiku form! We were amazed and impressed at the number of submissions and the creativity, humor and passion they captured.  Herewith (after much deliberation) are the winners by category.  

Most deliciously tart

Sorry kids-can’t come

To your concert. I’ve got to

Enter my data

-Scott Goldstein, MD, FAAP

Most passionate

MOC takes my time and

my money away from help-

ing children. Evil

-Nancy W. Weres, MD

Most thought-provoking

MOC complete.

Am I better or safer?

Does this help children?

-Deborah Greenhouse, MD, FAAP

Most pithy (a tie!)

Nobody got time for that

MOC madness

This pediatrician reads.

-C.L. Hardin, MD, FAAP

Test, Part Two, Part Four

Time away from patient care

Unfunded mandate

-Susan Laster, MD

Most pointed

Why do you MOC me

with your useless busywork

I have kids to help

-Jane Black, MD

Most sardonic

I “maintain” one thing:

An infinite number of

Better things to do

-Scott Goldstein, MD, FAAP

Most clever (We had a tie here!)

MOC me once said I

MOC me twice and I say nay

No, I’ll not be mocked

-Doreen Ciancaglini, MD

 “MOCK” classroom afloat

Designed for revenue stream

Is not sea worthy

-Ellen R. Cooper, MD

Most in keeping with the art form

Spider web tangles

Practice quality assured

Time, butter, pigs fly

-Janet F. Williams, MD, FAAP (who added: “Permanent certification/MOC certified”)

Most humorous

M-O-C broke me

Couldn’t stomach another test

Early retirement

-Benn Rosenthal, MD

Best MOC defense

MOC for good practice

The public demands the best

We must deliver

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

Voted the one we most wish we’d written ourselves

Part 4’s much faster

Once you realize that no one

Checks your data’s truth

-Scott Goldstein, MD, FAAP

Most cathartic

MOC for you

Certifies my quality

Says who I ask you!

Most pointed

MOC demands don’t help

What the kid needs is pri-

or approval

-A. Kyriakakos, MD, FAAP

Best rejoinder from an ally

MDs stop crying

PNPs retest yearly

Docs make more money

-Robin Burns, CPNP

And a special honorable mention for the only limerick we received!

I went to good schools for eight years

Sacrificed parties and beers

Because once I was done

I thought I’d have fun

Now the American Board interferes

-Scott Goldstein, MD, FAAP

Edification

clearly MOC or mockery

Forest for the trees.

-Janet F. Williams, MD, FAAP

Honeycomb drips and

the Queen MOCs, ‘Off with their heads!’

Quality assured.

-Janet F. Williams, MD, FAAP

MOC funday

Parts 2,3,4-repeat now

Still 80 points left.

-Edward John Bellfield, MD, MPH

Learned man brought low

Gript the dreaded M – O – So

And So, did renew

-Herbert Copeland, MD

Prep, Peds in Review

More questions than I can count

Studied enough yet?

-Mark Rosenthal, MD

MOC part 4

Research I hate, months of work

I don’t have time for.

-Mark Rosenthal, MD

Can the ABP

dictate to the world that-this-

makes a good doctor?

-Mark Rosenthal, MD

Why is CME

no enough to prove I am

keeping current here?

-Mark Rosenthal, MD

Thirteen hundred bucks

Confusing requirements

Why do I do this?

-Mark Rosenthal, MD

Certification

Busy work with high price tag

Why participate?

-spraydog@yahoo.com

Certification

means what? That we jump through hoops

to be MOC rock stars?

-Cheryl L. Hardin, MD, FAAP

A-B-P  dot org

M-O-C deadlines make my

teeth clench and lip pout

-Cheryl L. Hardin, MD, FAAP

oral boards? scary!

recertify q seven?

which is worse? not sure

-Marc D. Wager, MD, FAAP

You do not trust me

My patients trust me to learn

and stay up to date

-Pat Harkins, MD

Thousands of dollars

Meaningless activities

Meaningless test too

-Pat Harkins, MD

M-O-C really?

My learn’d Modus Obsessive

Com-pul-si-vi-ty!

-Ronald A. Goodsite, MD, FAAP

I do this job really well

Recertify every year

Sorry, not sorry

-Robin Burns, CPNP

Oh my god. Stop it.

I don’t want to deal with it.

You make me crazy.

-Maria Matijasevic, MD

‘Grandfath’rd in,’ watch-

ing young peers writhe under the

added load. Too much.

-Maria Matijasevic, MD

Want to pick a fight

MO certification

will stir up the docs

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

I do not need this

I study hard and stay current

MOC a nasty chore

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

Certification

maintenance is good or bad

What is your viewpoint?

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

MOC is a mistake

for some it is nirvana

a mixed bag for sure

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

I love doing MOC

you hate the very concept

need a compromise

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

MOC is ABP truth talk

front line docs don’t think so

is there middle ground?

-Herbert T. Abelson, MD

To stay Certified

Pay more for your M-O-C

For the birds only!

-Khai Ngo, MD

M-O-C ha ha

the last laugh is on doctors…

Jump through more hoops! NOW!

-Charles Hsu, MD

Isn’t CME

enough to make a doctor?

I hate M-O-C

-Charles Hsu, MD

Take more of my time

to jump through M-O-C hoops

I refuse for once

-Alice D. Calhoun, MD

Bending o’er backwards

Mindless running in circles

Life with M-O-C

-Alice D. Calhoun, MD

Bend over backwards.

Run in circles. Blood

from a turnip. MOC!

-Alice D. Calhoun, MD

Adult learning sacked

Thrown out Prometric windows

Cram facts to click keys

-Mary Beth Miotto, MD, FAAP

Yet another task?!?

One thousand three hundred bucks?!?

Why on earth should we?

-Julie Schopps, MD

Will it make me a

Better pediatrician?

Show me the money.

-Gregory F. Hayden, MD

I know what I know.

Why pay money to waste time?

The MOC has to go!

-Pamela Mouser, MD