Poll shows many parents unsure when to talk to kids about puberty

Puberty discussion with adults and child | Image Credit: © fizkes - stock.adobe.com.

A new national poll suggests that while most parents agree on the importance of discussing puberty with their children, many are unsure when or how to begin.^1,2

The University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health found that parents are divided on the right age to start these conversations. About half believe it’s best to begin before age 10, while others prefer to wait until age 10 or older.

“It’s easy to assume a child is too young for conversations about puberty, but many parents are surprised to find their tween already showing signs of puberty or asking unexpected questions about body changes,” said Mott Poll Co-Director Sarah Clark, MPH.

“Starting the conversation early gives parents a chance to shape the message in an age-appropriate way and help kids know what to expect, so they’re not confused or anxious. If parents don’t open the door to these talks, kids may get their information elsewhere, like from classmates, social media, or what they see on TV.”

Parents approach the topic in different ways

According to the poll, about half of parents describe their approach to puberty conversations as proactive. Two in five say they wait until their child asks questions, and 5% report avoiding the topic altogether.

Some parents face emotional barriers. One in five say they feel embarrassed discussing puberty, and one in six worry about saying the wrong thing. For parents of children aged 10–12 years, about a quarter say their child doesn’t want to talk about it. Nearly one-third of parents of children aged 7–9 believe their child is too young to understand.

Clark notes that a parent’s own childhood experience may influence how they handle the topic today. While nearly half of parents have shared their own puberty experiences with their child, fewer than one in three say they received adequate teaching about puberty from their own parents. More than one-third say they were not taught about puberty at all.

“Whether they realize it or not parents may bring their own experiences into their parenting approach,” Clark said. “Many parents said they had little or no discussion of puberty when they were young. If puberty was treated as an awkward or embarrassing subject growing up, that can make it harder to know how to begin.”

Parents polled shared a range of approaches and worries in preparing their tweens for this major stage of development.

Image credit: Sara Schultz, University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health.

Sex education is another common concern

In addition to physical and emotional changes, parents often aren’t sure when or how to introduce topics related to sex and reproduction.

“Early conversations should focus on making kids aware that they will experience physical and emotional changes, and reassuring them that those changes are normal. Discussions about sex can occur over time,” Clark said.

She also suggests that annual check-ups may be a good opportunity to address puberty-related topics and that parents explore resources such as parenting books or health education programs through schools.

Recognizing the signs of puberty

Confidence in recognizing the signs of puberty varies. About 60% of parents of children aged 10–12 said they’ve noticed changes, compared to 17% of parents of 7–9-year-olds. Less than a third of parents were unsure what to look for.

Many also said their children have asked questions about their bodies or those of others.

“Puberty isn’t just about physical changes — it’s also a time of emotional disruption, which can make open communication challenging,” Clark said. “Many tweens feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking with their parents about these changes.”

“To help ease the discomfort, some parents may give their child an age-appropriate book or video about puberty and allow the child to explore the topic privately. Often, that leads to additional discussion with parents.”

References:

1. Michigan Medicine - University of Michigan. The puberty talk: Parents split on right age to talk about body changes with kids. Eurekalert. April 21, 2025. Accessed April 22, 2025. https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/1080739

2. C.S. Mott Children's Hospital. Approaching puberty: Talking with tweens about body changes. University of Michigan Health. April 21, 2025. Accessed April 22, 2025. https://mottpoll.org/reports/approaching-puberty-talking-tweens-about-body-changes